Of all possible solutions to avoiding the looming threat that
Iraq will evolve into another long and arduous Vietnam fiasco, this one
is the most practical. What does it entail? Simple. First we legally
change Iraq's name to "France." It doesn't matter that there is already
a country called France, because as far as I know you can't trademark a
country name. Then, immediately following the name change, we pull all
of our forces out in one crazy getaway. After that, the entire world
will see poor France, embattled Arab nation with serious economic and
political strife, then look disapprovingly at the real France, with its
stability and suave demeanor. The real France, not wanting to look bad,
will have no choice but to step in or risk looking like it has no
control over itself. It's the ultimate con, I know, but if we pull it
off with precision timing and grace, no one will be the wiser.