I often get asked "What happened with you and Downfall?".  My reply usually varies, depending on how much time I want to spend explaining.  In the Downfall community, I think there is a great "rift" between those that know "of" me and those that "really" know me.  On the contrary, if you leave the Downfall community, you will find a community of people who have grown to love and respect me.  Why is there such a difference of opinion about me?  Well, in a nutshell, it's mostly my inexperience in dealing with RL issues that were placed before me at a time in my life when I thought the world should be revolving around me.  That's the two minute version, but it doesn't even cut the ice or begin to explain much of anything.  Since there is a great deal of history here, bear with me as I begin telling you the story of Dangly, or better "My Story".

Over the course of my WoW experience (about 5 years), I have visited only three servers.  I started out on Agamaggan as a Nelf Warrior (don't laugh), and played with my brother until I grew bored with the warrior mechanics.  It was then that I created Dangly, and continued to level him up to 80 and began to heal for <Underoath> as they progressed through Molten Core and eventually Blackwing Lair.  They eventually made me an officer, but one day our GM decided that he needed to quit wow to focus on his wife and kids.  I understood that and so did everyone else.  However, the guild ended up disbanding and we were all left guildless on a dying server.  I then applied to <Onslaught> ( the only guild worth a damn on Agamaggan at the time ) and they accepted me after a "proving run" and we raided for a few weeks.  However, they eventually all xferred to other servers due to Agamaggan's lack of competent players.

I was not going to follow them.  Instead, I began searching the web for a good guild.  I came across downfallguild.org and I was immediately drawn to the level of community and organization that oozed from the pages.  After a few talks with Garreth and some other officers, they decided to invite me to xfer over for a proving run.  After a test run or two, I was offered a ginvite and a perma spot in Hamfist as a healer.  At the time, I didn't realize what an honor this was, but apparently most people have to wait a while before receiving an invite to the main raid.  I had really hit it off with Downfall and I felt like I finally had a home. 

Things went amazing for a while, but then life started to rear its ugly face.  The girl I was dating at the time ( who is now my wife ) was struggling through depression, anxiety, and OCD.  She kept it bottled in for so long, that it finally surfaced in a terrible way.  I always knew that she suffered from these problems, but up until that point, she had it under control as far as I knew.  This directly and negatively affected our relationship because I wasn't ready to deal with it.  I had to learn and cope "on-the-fly".  WoW had been a big part of my life for a long time before this happened, and I was starting to realize that I would have to let it go for the sake of our relationship.

This realization ultimately led to my own "downfall".  I couldn't spend my free time playing the game that I love anymore, and I was angry.  One night after what should have been a routine Vashj push, I decided to disenchant all of my gear and sell the shards off on the AH.  I also deleted Dangly, but quickly realized that I had gone too far and at least got him back.  However, there was no way I could predict the aftermath that would follow the next day.

I logged on the next day and told Garreth what I had done, and that I was quitting wow.  I was very short with him.  However, once people started to realize what was going on (since I wasn't in the raid anymore, it was obvious), I received lashings and brow-beatings from almost everyone (minus a few).  In the volatile and adolescent state that I was in at the time, I barked back and said hateful things and began digging myself an endless hole that would soon become my place of residence.  To make matters worse, they thought I was a thief because of all the shards I had posted on the AH.  Earlier that week I requested shards from the gbank to enchant my gear.  I was swiftly kicked from the guild after I went off on a few people.

I didn't much care that I had been kicked, nor did I care that I had been an ass.  I was too selfish to realize the error of my ways.  While they said hateful things too, that gave me no excuse to retaliate like I did.  It all boils down to the problems I was having with my wife.  I'm not trying to make excuses, but I do want you guys to know where I'm coming from.  I don't normally talk about this stuff with anyone, but I feel like it's worth it, if it clears my name just a little.  Dealing with those issues was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  I never knew what to expect or when it would end.  The only ting I was certain of was that I loved her and it was my job to help her.

I didn't play wow for the better part of a year after that, and things got better and we got help and worked it out.  We got engaged, and I decided it was time to log back in.  It was then that I met this awesome group of people called the <Red Panda Brigade>.  They took me in and quickly promoted me to officer in a matter of weeks.  I went on to build their website and we had excellent times running kara and naxx.  However, there was a bit of drama in the guild (not caused by me) that caused it to slowly start breaking apart.  The guild master had some real life issues to deal with and I finally threw in the towel and moved to Dawnbringer server to play with some RL friends ( college buddies of mine).  I hated it, and as soon as my month was up, I quickly xferred back to Gorgonnash. 

Since then I've been trying to get back into Downfall.  You guys have my deepest apologies for the way I acted.  I've definitely become a better man and a better husband through all of this.  I just thought you might understand me if you knew my "whole" story.  I know its long, but I don't normally wear my heart out on my sleeve, so thanks for taking the time to read it.

Ben (a.k.a. Dangly)