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THINGS I LEARNED FROM LIVING IN TEXAS

Aidin's picture

Aidin — Fri, 06/19/2009 - 12:02

  1. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
  2. There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Texas
  3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas , plus a couple no one's seen before.
  4. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
  5. 'Twiced' is a word.
  6. People actually grow and eat okra
  7. 'Fixinto' is one word.
  8. There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then supper.
  9. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
  10. 'Backwards and forwards' means I know everything about you!
  11. Djeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
  12. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
  13. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
  14. You measure distance in hours. Like its 6 hours from Houston to Dallas .
  15. You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.
  16. 'Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store.'
  17. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
  18. Yes, Friday night high school football is serious football!
  19. You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car.
  20. There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
  21. 100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.'
  22. We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
  23. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' to Wally-World.'
  24. A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.
  25. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop. . . . it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What kind a coke you want?'
  26. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
  27. We don't need no stinking driver's ed . . . if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.
  28. And the most important thing we learn growing up in TEXAS is...

IN GOD WE TRUST --Not the Government

‹ Im married! Haha!World of Warcraft PTR Patch 3.2.0 ›
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Atakheal's picture

i found something similar

Atakheal — Thu, 06/25/2009 - 16:07

i found something similar where i live, Texas kinda looks like (north of)Mexico haha.

Fjork's picture

29. If momma ain't

Fjork — Tue, 06/23/2009 - 21:20

29. If momma ain't happy........

30. "I tell you what." is complete sentence with clear grammar, emotion, and affection with no further explanation needed.

Ex:  So the wifey's comin, know what I mean.

I tell you what.

31. Momma brought me into this world, and by god if she ain't gonna one take take me outta it!

32. Shotguns are like jewelry.  Made to be shown off, polished, and used a bludgeon when necessary.

33. Everything IS bigger in Texas.  Ever seen a mosquito as big as a chihaua (or however you spell it.)?

34. "Shotgun Wedding" means Daddy likes the groom.  They just got back huntin' (true story.)

35. Cherry Bomb + School Toilet = Day off.

 

Thanks for posting this Aidin.  People need to understand what Texas really is.  Better.

Raise your hand if you live in a state that can survie as an independant nation with no outside trade, even with today's advances in technology.  Oh, and not STARVE.

/raises hand

garreth's picture

Raise your hand if you live

garreth — Wed, 06/24/2009 - 09:06

Raise your hand if you live in America but still hold on to some secesstionalistic fantasy. I know a few groups in North Idaho that do!

Dragon's picture

Don't forget Georgia,

Dragon — Wed, 06/24/2009 - 09:49

Don't forget Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi and Lousianna in that statement Garreth. Oh and I think South Carolina too.

and i agree

Sofija — Sun, 06/21/2009 - 11:28

Coke is the only appropriate term for a carbonated beverage. Anything else, like pop and shit like that is completely unacceptable. Just not having it! Most people in Florida and South Carolina do not recognize pop. They will look at you like you are on drugs. Then they will ask, "Don't you mean a coke?".

cromi's picture

 Well when I was in Louisiana

cromi — Wed, 06/24/2009 - 10:29

 Well when I was in Louisiana I would always say pop. Always been the thing I say for coke. And then after I finally got used to saying coke. I came back to Oregon and couldn't help but keep saying coke, I didn't always want an actual coke. 

 BTW. While I was in New Orleans and outlying areas. I met some people from texas. And most of them were some very good looking gals. Was just about enough to send me to texas until my cousin born in texas decided to take a trip up to visit, really the reason I can't stand texas was him talking about King of The Hill. And how great texas was 24/7. 

Orlando is a nice place too. A very nice place....

Dragon's picture

I hope to god you aren't

Dragon — Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:35

I hope to god you aren't talking about Orlando, FL.....

Aidin's picture

"And how great texas was

Aidin — Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:33

"And how great texas was 24/7. "

Grasen's your cousin??????

hmmmm

h4mm32 — Sat, 06/20/2009 - 12:45

'Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store.'

 

              is an adverb*

Dufe's picture

It is a verb. It is

Dufe — Tue, 06/23/2009 - 22:50

It is a verb. It is absolutely NOT an adverb here.  In fact, it's the primary verb in that sentence.  Syntactically, "to go" is operating as a prepositional phrase.  (And "to the store" is another prepositional phrase.)

Vitriola's picture

adverb?

Vitriola — Mon, 06/22/2009 - 08:38

Is it an adverb?  I thought that it was a participle.  hmmm...

Aidin's picture

GTFO of here with your

Aidin — Sun, 06/21/2009 - 09:13

GTFO of here with your English lesson ... you're the kid we beat up in high school aren't you? lol

well

h4mm32 — Sun, 06/21/2009 - 11:19

i never got beat up in high school i was too busy with the womens and halo competitions.

yeah right

Sofija — Sun, 06/21/2009 - 11:24

Halo competitions = no women period!!!!! You don't have to lie to kick it bro.

You're bringing grammar into

Keisjaa — Sun, 06/21/2009 - 00:09

You're bringing grammar into a Texas thread?!?!?!

 

 

Man I think that's a shootin' in these parts

(yes that kinda hurt to type)

Caronte22's picture

hahah Aidin this has inspired

Caronte22 — Sat, 06/20/2009 - 00:38

hahah Aidin this has inspired me to make one for  South Cali..

moriella's picture

learned in TX

moriella — Fri, 06/19/2009 - 17:15

While in Houston 1993-2000

I learned how to :

  • Become a workaholic
  • Get high blood pressure
  • Make insane money
  • Date Strippers
  • Do lots of blow

Yeah, Texas is a GREAT place.  Glad I got out alive.

Now, I make less money - dont date strippers (trouble, trust me) - have normal BP - and been drug free for years.

 

Vitriola's picture

texas

Vitriola — Fri, 06/19/2009 - 13:09

And "he NEEDED killin" is a legitimite defense in Texas.  :)

pulga's picture

That's why I'm happy I live

pulga — Fri, 06/19/2009 - 12:55

That's why I'm happy I live in Jersey.  The good part of Jersey.  Not the north with the wannabe New Yorkers.  Not in the south with the wannabe hillbillys.  At the shore, where everything is nice, except in the summer when the northerners, BENNYS, come down and annoy the hell out of us.

Atakheal's picture

ohhh my god, this made my day

Atakheal — Fri, 06/19/2009 - 12:37

ohhh my god, this made my day hahaha, really nice Aidin. <3

cromi's picture

See this is why when I'm in

cromi — Fri, 06/19/2009 - 12:35

See this is why when I'm in the south. I only go to florida, and La.  Wal-marts are nice, When I ask for a pop I am still asked "What?" "Do you mean a coke".

Never been a big fan of Texas though.  And 1-4. Maybe there is a reason there are so many spiders, and snakes. And then maybe the armadillos aren't really sleeping theyre just waiting.

Saja's picture

It's SODA. Pop is a noise  :P

Saja — Fri, 06/19/2009 - 13:44

It's SODA. Pop is a noise  :P

Derchlon's picture

Soda>Pop>Coke>Fizzy Drink

Derchlon — Sat, 06/20/2009 - 18:27

I've called it Pop for as long as I can remember.  I tried calling it Soda for a while, and now saying Pop just sounds wrong when I say it.

I'll still call it Pop occasionally, but for the most part I've been calling it Soda.

Dragon's picture

We here in Florida agree with

Dragon — Fri, 06/19/2009 - 15:16

We here in Florida agree with the above statement

Dragon's picture

Posts like this sometimes

Dragon — Fri, 06/19/2009 - 12:28

Posts like this sometimes make me wish that Mexico wanted y'all back <3

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