For the new parents:
jaibyrd — Wed, 04/08/2009 - 08:35
Some of you had girls. Be thankful. And for those of you with boys, beware:
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 200 m2 house to a depth of 10 cm.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust balls and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 20 Kg boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 6m x 6m room.
5. You should not throw cricket balls up when the ceiling fan is on.... When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way..
6. The glass in windows (even double-glazed) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies,
10.Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11.Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.Super glue is forever.
13.No matter how many jello crystals you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.Pool filters do not like jello crystals.
15.VCR's do not eject 'BL&T' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.You probably DO NOT want to know what that smell is.
19.Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.The fire department in Edmonton, AB, has a 5-minute response time.
21.The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
80% of Men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid.
ROFL I actually gave thought
Knoppix (not verified) — Thu, 04/09/2009 - 23:34ROFL I actually gave thought to the brake fluid and bleach I have both in my garage.
Well, some of those are facts
Ewiges — Mon, 04/13/2009 - 00:27Well, some of those are facts others are just bullshit to try and make men look like shit. But, just because I love women here are two more facts.
1. I had brake cleaner on my desk by the time I finished reading
2. I don't know where there is bleach in the house.
BTW, this is what my kids do.
Bleach+Brake Fluid=Weekend
Dragon — Thu, 04/09/2009 - 08:07Bleach+Brake Fluid=Weekend Science Experiment?
If not, maybe a good experiment for the guild meetup ;-)
Im laughing that the only one
jaibyrd — Wed, 04/08/2009 - 19:28Im laughing that the only one none of you tried when you were youngert was the bleach and brake fluid lol.
Looking for break fluid now.
garreth — Wed, 04/08/2009 - 14:13Looking for break fluid now.
You won't be sorry. Keep the
Scaron — Wed, 04/08/2009 - 15:02You won't be sorry. Keep the kitty away from the fumes though.
The first thing I wondered
Scaron — Wed, 04/08/2009 - 11:39The first thing I wondered about was fact #1. I don't think it's true.
Correct my math if I'm wrong but:
Assume a 200 m2 house has one big square room of approximately 14.142 meters per wall. That's about 1,414.2 cm per wall or about 2 million square centimeters. If we filled that one big square room to a depth of 10 cm we would have used approximately 20 million cubic centimeters of water.
Taking the cubed root of 20 million gives us 271.442 (approx.). Translating that into cubic meters (a more standard measure for large amounts) that gives us approximately 2.71442 3 or approximately 20 cubic meters of water to fill a 200 square meter house to 10 cm full of water.
How much is 20 cubic meters of water. Well, 10 cubic yards (a tad smaller than a cubic meter) of cement fit in a cement truck. Thus, in order for a king size water bed to fill a 200 square meter house to a depth of 10cm one would need to hold the same amount of water as about 2.25 cement trucks full of water.
I call "bullshit" on this email forward.
See and I thought I was the
jaibyrd — Wed, 04/08/2009 - 12:15See and I thought I was the only fool to figure that out too. Glad to know there are other people out there who don't believe everything they read ;-)
I can vouche for quite a few of these however...
Oh...yeah...many of them are
Scaron — Wed, 04/08/2009 - 13:04Oh...yeah...many of them are totally true. Bleach and brake fluid ...totally true.
...and man is my wifey going to be pissed when she sees the mess that just made in the kitchen.
Great read, Jai. I'm
Karli — Wed, 04/08/2009 - 11:36Great read, Jai. I'm currently willing my child to not learn to crawl for a while, cause it's all downhill from there. And to think I thought it was a big deal when he knocked over a full cup of coffee the other day...
It is definitely all downhill
Olorien — Wed, 04/08/2009 - 12:12It is definitely all downhill from there. mine started crawling a little over a week ago and now I know why people have playpens not just for portable cribs.
I admit, the first thing I
starstalker — Wed, 04/08/2009 - 11:06I admit, the first thing I thought of when I read this was whether or not I keep a bottle of brake fluid around.
same here lol
Vulk — Wed, 04/08/2009 - 11:35same here lol